


VERMILLION. BROWN. BLUE

by InventorBenny



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Other, PARTIZAN 30 Spoilers, Spoilery warnings/tags in the author's notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26261455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InventorBenny/pseuds/InventorBenny
Summary: If you didn't read the tags: SPOILERS FOR PARTIZAN 30
Relationships: Kal'mera Broun & Ver'million Blue, Kal'mera Broun/Valence
Comments: 13
Kudos: 30





	VERMILLION. BROWN. BLUE

**Author's Note:**

> Final warning! This fic, and these author's notes, contain spoilers for episode 30 of PARTIZAN, the sixth season of Friends at the Table. If that's something you're alright with, continue on. 
> 
> Warnings: This fic mentions the death of a main character, and focuses on other characters grieving that character. It also touches on previous sexual encounters, and, since it is a PARTIZAN fic, it also mentions war crimes a number of times. 
> 
> In summary: Broun and Millie get some bonding time.

Millie was washing a bowl, and when she heard someone coming she didn't look up. The footsteps stopped in the doorway, and when she looked up… _shit_. Broun was there. Millie wasn’t cruel enough to say they looked like shit but they did. Who could’ve blamed them, honestly? Their eyes were red and puffy. They look like they hadn’t washed their face since the last time they were crying. Their nose was all crusted up with dried snot, their shirt too.

They were shifting their eyes around, their gaze sort of bouncing around her. She realized that Broun’s trying really hard to look at her. She decided to clear the silence, “Hey, how are-” 

“It’s cold in my room, and I’m not tall enough to close the vent, so I need someone to either tell me where they moved the fucking stepladder or close it for me,” they interrupted. 

“Sure thing.” Millie set the bowl in the sink, and let Broun lead her to their room. 

It was a mess. It’d been days since they’d left and it looked like it. There was a stack of dirty dishes, from the food S.I. had been bringing them. The floor was covered in clothes. It looked less like they’d been throwing dirty clothes on the floor and more like they tore all of their clothes out of the closet. Now that she was looking at Broun, Millie was pretty sure they were wearing the same thing they had on after their mission. 

“It’s up there,” Broun jerked their head and wiped their nose on their forearm. 

Millie stood on the bed, pulled the little lever and got back down. 

“Okay…” Millie looked Broun up and down. They were opening and closing their mouth, kicking at a ball of lint on the floor, “Guess I’ll go now.”

Millie’s hand had barely left the door frame when she heard Broun’s voice again.

“I mean what, we fucked _once_?” 

Millie choked on her own tongue for a moment before sticking her head back into their room. They locked eyes, and Broun flushed. 

“Oh my god, I don’t know why I-” and then in an instant they were curled up on the floor sobbing. 

If only it had been Byron in the kitchen instead of her. He’d know what to say right now. He’d have some soft words and sharp insights that could help Broun right now. But instead the child soldier was standing in the doorway gaping at her crying friend. _Hey Perennial. It’s me, ya girl. We don’t talk much, but on the off chance you’re like a fan or something, I’d_ love _if you could get me out of this situation_. 

Nothing. Praying once again proved pointless. She sighed and sat down on the floor next to them. She couldn’t bring herself to touch them, there was no way to tell if it would be better or worse. Better to just be a presence. 

Byron walked past, glanced in, and his eyes went wide. With a grimace he pointed at himself and then at Broun. 

Through sobs, Broun said, “God, just close the _fucking_ door.”

They sat there together for what felt like seven years, but was probably more like ten minutes. Millie hugged her knees, and it seemed like Broun starting to sputter out. 

“I should get you some water,” Millie said.

“You should get the hell out of my room,” Broun said, their voice wavering.

“I’ve been where you are,” Millie started.

“Oh, so what,” they spat back at her, “You get how it feels, or whatever?”

 _Yes_ , said a part of Millie, while another countered, _that’s not the point though_ , “Yeah and it felt pretty goddamn dehydrating, so I’m gonna go get you some water. I’ll leave you alone after that, jeez.” 

Millie mentally cussed Broun out the entire way to the sink and back. She opened the door, walked over, and set the cup in front of them. Right about to leave, she heard Broun’s voice again. 

“Wait.” 

Millie almost wanted to be annoyed, _almost_. But Broun’s voice… if it was a little baby bird it was doomed, fallen out of it’s nest, broken and beyond saving. She softened her own voice as much as possible. “Okay.”

She came back in, and sat down against the wall. Broun sat up and leaned against the wall too. They sat there for a second, curled in on themselves, wrapped around their own knees, before taking the glass, and taking a slow, slurping sip. 

“Sorry about that,” Broun said, still quiet. 

Millie shrugged, “It’s all part of the, I dunno, process or whatever.” 

More silence. Millie wasn’t… bothered… by it per se, but if they were just sitting here too much longer she’d either get in her feelings or get bored and neither were going to be super helpful. 

“Is this your first time, or…?” Millie knew this was a dumb question before they even saw Broun’s expression, but luckily for her the shock turned to laughter. 

“Millie!” Broun giggled, “What kind of… yeah! Yeah, it is my first time having someone I-” they cut themselves off with another sob before collapsing again. 

Millie winced, “Sorry, I...” 

Broun shrugged and, though a series of sobs and hiccups managed to say something that sounded like, “I’m fine, it’s fine.” 

Millie nodded, but even she could feel how unconvinced she looked. “You know, you can… hug me or something. Or I can hug you if you want?” 

She got a very clear _what the fuck_ look in return, and Broun shook their head. It only took a second for them to flop against her though, and they quieted down a little bit when she wrapped her arms around their shoulders. 

“Si’dra was the one who did this for me,” she said, looking at the ceiling. _I can’t believe I’m about to do this_. “It was the mission right after both my girlfriends were killed by airstrikes. We didn’t even know each other, but she found me crying in the commissary after lights out and sat down with me.”

It was quiet for a little bit. It wasn’t bad anymore, exactly. A little uncomfortable. It was the most she’d been touched since she last saw Dra. She bet Dra would know what to say. Si and Byron would be so much better at this than her. “Does me talking about me help, or is it just dumb?”

Broun just sat there. They might have shrugged.

“Okay,” she took a deep breath, and let it out. She waited, just to see if they’d say anything else. 

Nothing. “Alright, so-” Broun snored so loudly it made Millie jump. 

Millie was first struck with relief that she didn’t have to talk about her feelings, before she realized that being trapped under Broun while they slept was a waking nightmare. Gently, _very_ gently, she scooped (the deceptively heavy) Broun up, and did her best to tuck them into bed. 

The next morning, it was almost noon when Millie woke up. She staggered out of her room and into the kitchen. 

She didn’t fully register the voice when she heard it, “Oh, Millie. I boiled too much water for my tea. Want a cup?”

“Ngh. Coffee.” She said, sloppily spilling some too-hot water on the counter, and pouring too much instant coffee into the cup. She stirred it, once, twice, and drank it faster than she should. It burned on the way down. Slowly, she’s started to open her eyes all the way, the fluorescents not stinging the same way. She blinks away the sleep and looks at the other person in the kitchen. Broun is there, pointedly looking away, and holding a cup of tea. 

She looks down at herself. Boxers and a bra. Oh well. They share showers. She takes another few gulps, and then says “How’d you sleep?” at the same time Broun asks, “Did you clean my room?”

Millie set the cup down and leaned back against the counter, “Oh uh. Yeah. Sorry, I guess that’s weird.” 

“Why?” Broun asked.

“Oh, I uh,” she splashed some water from the sink on her face, “It’s just nicer to be sad in a clean room. It’s stupid. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” Broun shifts their weight, “A little weird, but I guess I’m used to it, I mean…” 

They shared a look. The corner of Broun’s mouth twitches downward. Millie nods, “I mean, sure, if it bothers you-” 

“No, it’s just-”

“I don’t have to do it-”

“It’s probably for the best, yeah,” they said, chewing their lip, “and I’m sorry for last night, I mean,” they huffed, “wow, that was just crazy. Totally over dramatic. And I gave you _way_ more information than you asked for.” 

Millie sipped her coffee, and thought about stuff. Her stuff, from a long time ago.

Broun started to stand, “Yeah, so I’m just… I have stuff to work on, so I’ll just-”

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Broun winced. “No? Yes?” they sat back down, “I mean it hurts like all the time, and it hurts more to talk about it. But yesterday was the most I _have_ talked about it, and I feel way better today than I did yesterday.”

“Yeah you’re like out of your room and shit,” Millie said between sips. 

“Yeah,” They were visibly mulling over something, “Does it stop hurting?”

Millie looked at the undissolved crystals in the bottom of her mug. She dumped it in the sink and rinsed it. It was too quiet but she was still thinking of how to phrase it. 

She leaned back on the counter. “I mean…” she shrugged, “you learn to manage the pain, right?”

Broun scoffed and drained their tea. “Let’s keep talking in my room.” 

“Do you want me to put some more clothes on first?” 

“Literally who cares?”

-

They sat next to each other on the bed, on top of the covers, looking straight ahead. 

“Soooooo,” Millie said, elbowing Broun, “Whatcha wanna talk about?”

Broun just shook their head. “I don’t, is the thing. Just… ask me something?”

There was a question Millie was just _dying_ to ask, but it didn’t seem like the right question. Her mind was blank aside from that one, but… It wasn’t a great opener.

“Okay, I can see you getting ready to ask something.”

“No!” Millie said, putting up her hands, “Maybe! I don’t know if it’s a great place to start.”

“Just rip the bandaid off.”

“Fine!” she braced herself, “So, you had sex with Valence?” 

"Wh," Broun said, face twisted into a performative mask of indignation, "that's the _first_ thing you want to know?"

Millie put her hands up, "You put me on the spot! I can ask another question, I just need a minute."

A heavy sigh from Broun. "No, it's fine. Yeah. We had sex."

"When?"

Broun blushed and turned away a bit, "the night after we fought Courage."

"Broun!" Millie said.

"I know! It's weird! But, you know, they didn't have a frame any more, and I had to lug their metal ass to my workshop, and while we were there… I blame the adrenaline."

“Oh. Was… Um, hm.”

They rolled their eyes, “Yeah it was great, obviously. They were just how they always were. Attentive, sweet, gentle,” their voice started wavering, “They were the best person I’ve ever known.” they said it impatiently, like they couldn’t stand what they were saying. 

“Well…” god, what to say, “at least you two got to spend some time together?”

Broun was clearly starting to tear up, “Oh fuck you! Sorry! Fuck!” they leaned their elbows on their knees and pressed their palms against their eyes, “It’s fine. It’s fine. God. Sorry.”

“It’s not - It doesn’t have to be fine,” Millie said, “I mean, it might be better in the long run if it’s not. Like, they say the first step is admitting you have a problem?”

“That’s... Not this, Millie.”

“Maybe it still applies?”

Broun let out a short huff that might have been a laugh. “Sure. Whatever.” 

They were quiet for a long time after that. Millie busied herself by watching the fan. It must have been weighted a little wrong because it was making a clicking noise every time it went around. It had a wobble. Millie was pretty sure it was spinning the wrong direction too, she couldn’t feel a breeze at all. 

Finally Broun interrupted her thoughts with a whisper, “There’s so much, Millie. So much.”

“I know,” Millie wasn’t lying. 

“They gave me a spaceship. I was _this_ close,” they said, holding their fingers less than an inch apart, “To leaving Partizan and taking them and Thisbe with me. I just keep coming back and thinking that if I had just been a little more greedy - like, cared a little less about Milenium Break - Valence would be alive right now.”

Millie stretched. “You know, I didn’t know them superduper well,” she hesitated here, “I don’t know. I don’t get the sense they would have gone for it.” 

“I know,” Broun said, “It’s dumb. They would have convinced me to stay,” they sobbed, once, “The closest I ever got to telling them I loved them was giving them a bunch of reasons leaving would be too much of a hassle.” 

Well, what is there even to say to that? “Maybe they knew? They were psychic or something, right?”

“They shouldn’t have to have been,” they took in and let out a shaky breath, “but yeah. Maybe. Oh, uh oh. I think I’m about to-” and then they started bawling. Millie pulled them into a hug, of course. She wasn’t a monster. It took longer for them to stop crying this time. Broun was crying like they had taken a mask off, and it was calm. Open. Free. 

And it took awhile but eventually, Broun spoke up. 

“I think I’m gonna change my Prefix,” they said into Millie’s shoulder.

 _Who cares, they’re all just a bunch of old dead dudes that were really good at killing_ , Millie didn’t say. “To what?” she said instead.

“Val’,” they said. 

Millie tried her best to remember all the Eidolons she knew, “I don’t…” then she realized, “ OH! Oh. Yeah that sounds…” she took a moment to brush back some of val hair that came loose, “nice. It sounds nice.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this work, you can find more of my work @paigesturning on tumblr and follow me on twitter @The_Forismon.
> 
> If you liked the art in this fic, that was done by the lovely Asa, who's art can be found @lowpolybutch on tumblr, and more generally @ratvortex on twitter.


End file.
